How to care for introverts


To me introverts vs extroverts is not black and white issue but I’m clearly on the introvert side of the spectrum. Most like the picture is meant for how to care for children but here’s my adult take on the advice.

Respect their need for privacy

Privacy is an interesting thing. Being a Finn and sauna being part of my life from early on, nudity is not a big deal for me. I don’t mind if someone, male or female, young or old, relative or not, sees me naked. But still I don’t like to be the center of attention. In bigger group of people I rather stay on the sidelines and be anonymous.

I’m fine with talking about my personal issues with someone I know and trust. But that doesn’t come naturally. I have to concentrate on it and force myself to open up.

I’m not a big fan of having visitors at my home, especially having parties. I need a place where I can go away from a crowd. It’s not about using that option, I rarely need it, it’s about knowing that there is a possibility to get away.

The odd thing is what I would like to achieve with my writing. I’m not looking for became big and famous writer. I would like to have a dedicated fanbase which would mean me open up to them and share my personal life with them, at least to some extend.

You should respect everyone’s privacy, no matter if they are introverts or extroverts.

Never embarrass them in public

I guess this has something to do with not wanting to be center of attention. Other than that it’s hard to see why this would be introvert specific. Who would like to be embarrassed in public? Well, some people like Punk’d and shows alike. I find they rather unpleasant.

Let them observe first in new situation

 Give them time to think, don’t demand instant answer

Give them advance notice of expected changes in their lives

Give them 15 minute warnings to finish whatever they are doing

I’m not very good at living in the moment. If I end up in an unexpected situation I don’t realize all the potential of the moment when it’s happening so I don’t act the way I would like. Later on when I have time to process the past events it’s quite disappointing to come up with all the cool things I should have done but didn’t. I need to be able to process what is going to happen. It never goes the way I imagine it would but still it helps if I have thought it through beforehand.

Don’t interrupt them

Interrupting someone when they are concentrating on something and derange their thoughts is annoying to everyone. I assume that this advice means not interrupting when an introvert is speaking. I don’t find it as a problem if I’m interrupted but can see that it would be a problem for someone else.

Reprimand them privately

It’s surprising but public reprimand is not that big of a deal for me. I’m my biggest critic so is there anything to criticize me about that I don’t already know. And I don’t care that much about what others think about me.

Teach them new skills privately

White man has no skills for dancing. Even the idea of public dancing makes me feel ill. I wouldn’t mind learning to dance but it should happen behind closed doors. Showing how bad I am at something is horrid.

Enable them to find one best friend who has similar interests & abilities

This becomes evident when thinking about seeing a woman. It hard for me to see me being with a woman who doesn’t share the taste of music and art with me. And being with a woman who is always on the go and wouldn’t enjoy the peace of home would be pointless.

Don’t push them to make lots of friends

Respect their introversion, don’t try to remake them into extroverts

Pushing someone to do something is rarely a good idea. Just let them be who they are. That said, it might be a good idea to encourage them to have new experiences.